You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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