im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
