Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize