Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
