Do you still have your period?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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