I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
