So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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