yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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