yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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