I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
