We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize