I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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