So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
