why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
