i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
