I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
