She announced her abortion via fbk
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
