we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
