You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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