Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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