Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
