should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
