I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize