who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
