He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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