THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
