it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
