i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
