if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
