I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
