Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Randomize
