i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He passed out mid-signature
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
