But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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