It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
