Ambien. No doubt about it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
