Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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