Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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