Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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