i just made my gag reflex go away.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
