Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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