Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
