Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish I could teleport
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
