i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
