So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
