some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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