oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
