Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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