I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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