Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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