Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
