And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
