so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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