do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
