in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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