Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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