The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
