he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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