Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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