I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
