so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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